The Power of Emotional Intelligence
Why it matters & how it can transform your life
How Are You (Really Feeling)?
It’s a question I ask or I am being asked daily—"How are you?"—and I often respond with automatic, surface-level replies like “I’m fine” or “Good, and you?” And, then I am always asking myself why did I say “Good” when I am actually not OK, or it’s more than that a simple OK.
So, what if you and I paused and truly checked in with our emotions? What if we allowed ourselves and others to reflect on how we really feel?
This moment of introspection is where emotional intelligence (EI) comes into play. Another term that we are familiar with, but maybe we don’t quite understand it or how it affects our lives.
Let’s start with the definition of EI, so we are all on the same page with it.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, label, express, and regulate our emotions. It sounds simple, right? But emotional intelligence is a transformative skill that can dramatically improve our lives, our relationships, and our overall well-being.
Why is emotional intelligence important?
Our emotions matter—more than we might think. They’re not just fleeting feelings that come and go; they influence nearly every aspect of our life. From the decisions we make to the way we react in relationships, social contexts and work environments, emotions are constantly shaping our world.
Let’s take a moment to reflect—how often do we react to a situation without truly understanding the feelings that lead to that reaction?
This is a sign of a lack of emotional awareness which can lead to:
Miscommunication with loved ones
Increased stress at work
Missed opportunities for personal growth
On the flip side, understanding and developing emotional intelligence can empower you to:
Build stronger, more meaningful connections with others
Reduce stress by understanding and managing your feelings
Make more thoughtful decisions in both your personal and professional life
The science behind emotional intelligence
Research by experts like Dr. Mark Brackett, PhD, shows that people with higher emotional intelligence tend to have better mental health, stronger relationships, and greater success in life. Isn’t this something that we all strive to achieve in our lives?
Dr. Brackett outlines five key components of EI:
Recognizing your emotions
Understanding why you feel the way you do
Labeling those emotions accurately
Expressing your emotions in a constructive way
Regulating your emotions for better outcomes
These components form the foundation for navigating emotional complexity in a healthy and effective way.
How emotional intelligence can change one’s life
Mastering emotional intelligence allows us to see beyond the surface of daily interactions and dive deeper into understanding ourselves and others.
When we can make sense of our emotions, we become better equipped to:
Navigate difficult conversations without escalating conflict
Handle stress with more ease and clarity
Foster healthier relationships built on understanding and trust
Imagine being able to approach each situation with a clear sense of what you’re feeling and why—and being able to respond in a way that benefits both you and the people around you. That is the dream!
What is holding you back?
Ask yourself: are your emotions holding you back from living your best life? Could better emotional awareness improve your relationships or career?
The journey to developing emotional intelligence starts with a simple practice: checking in with yourself. So, how are you really feeling today?
Embracing emotional intelligence isn’t just a tool for self-growth—it’s a key to transforming every aspect of your life.
If you are interested to learn more about emotional intelligence and how you can incorporate it into your life, I recommend reading Dr. Brackett’s book Permission to feel.